By Andy Carrizales
Nicole was abused by her mother when she was a little girl. When she was eight she found out that her mother tried having an abortion while carrying her.
“My family is one of those families that I’m screwed either way. That’s what my parents told me.
I remember tying up my Timberland boots one day before going to school and hearing my little sister crying. My mom was mad at her. I walked right in between my mother and my sister so that she wouldn’t get hurt.”
Seeing Nicole’s audacity, her mother grabbed a chair and, pulling Nicole by one of her pig tails, hit her repeatedly on her face. Nicole struggled to run out of her mother’s reach.
“You’re not hitting me again! I’m done with you, I’m leaving this house!” Nicole said, gathering all her strength.
Nicole grabbed her sister’s hand and together they ran to school. It was a winter day and Nicole’s boots kicked the light snow. She saw the marks on her arms and blood was running down her hands. Nicole hid it as well as she could and went into her classroom.
At the end of the day Nicole contemplated running away but she was unprepared and had nowhere to go.
She would only have her boots, which was no great consolation. Nicole felt like her boots entrapped her. As if they were her mother, her boots hurt her.
“Do not tell this to your father,” Nicole remembers her mother saying that night when she arrived home. “Or your father’s going to leave you because he doesn’t want you.”
Nicole, lost and scared, kept her mother’s abuse a secret. Soon after, Nicole threw away her Timberland boots which were ruined from the snow mixed with blood and which were a constant reminder of the experience.
Currently, Nicole wears boots in any threatening situation for she remembers how she defied her mother in those Timberlands. The boots gave her the strength to stand up for herself and to protect her sister. Nicole’s past has shaped her into who she is now: a strong young woman.